Head shops: Who are you fooling?!

A few days ago the Samurai had an important meeting in the blustering metropolis of Akron Ohio. Known for producing rubber and Lebron James this city’s roads seem to be designed by the same man who designed the rubix cube. To Get from point “A” to point “B” often requires passing through points “G” through “X” before coming upon another closed one-way road, traffic jam, or in my case: A Marathon route (Good luck to Akron’s runners but get the hell out of me way PLEASE!)

Finding myself Low on pipe tobacco after being lost in the city for what seems like a geologic age, I decided to stop at a store that said it sold “Tobacco and Gifts”. Now in my sleepy little hometown of Wooster Ohio, “Tobacco and gifts” means a store sells Cigars, pipe tobacco, and witty greetings cards with dirty jokes in them. Apparently in a college town such as Akron, “tobacco and Gifts” takes on an entirely different meaning.

They come in Small, Medium, and "It's time to admit you have a problem"

Inside, I found the most Extensive collection of bongs, pipes, vaporizers and witty bumper sticker that I’ve ever laid witness too. Undaunted, (and needing a smoke) I go up the the counter and asked the clerk, (A pasty, twenty something with spiky black hair who vaguely resembled the lead singer form Greenday) if they had any Pipe tobacco, and if so where it was.

I might as well been asking for weapons grade plutonium for the look the clerk gave me, a puzzled “Duh” look worth a thousand words. His surviving brain cells strained to precess the request, finally managing to sputter the half answer “I’m kinda sure we don’t” before returning to his work stocking Bob Marley bumper stickers in a glass case.

Places like this make me honestly mad, and not just because they sell Marijuana paraphernalia, I’m not really up against stoners as much as the collective stupidity regarding the drug Marijuana. I know the questionable legality of places like this, but do they honestly think they’re fooling anybody with the whole “We sell tobacco products and glass art” shtick? As if a police officer is gonna go in there to find a bunch of drug paraphernalia and slink away in disappointment when he reads the sign that says all those bongs and vaporizers are for “Tobacco use only” as if all the patrons are just eccentric smokers who like to smoke cigarettes by way of a six foot long glass tube.

I also got a beef with the people who assign this same logic to the argument of legalizing weed for “Medicinal use”. Let me spell it out: Weed has no practical use whatsoever, it’s a lousy pain killer, and it does nothing to cure or treat any disease that can’t be done by a hundred other better drugs.  There’s no

Finnaly! The Answer to heath care Reform

one laying in hospitals right now  gasping with their last breath “If only I could have marijuana I could get better and go home to my family!” The drug lobbies are not fooling anybody with that argument. Allow me to says this as simply as possible THEY WANT TO LEGALIZE IT AS A MEDICINE SO THEY CAN GET A FAKE PRESCRIPTION FROM A SHADY DOCTOR AND SMOKE IT FOR FUN!!! Perhaps some brain damaged stoner is dumb enough to think he’s on some kind of noble crusade for the sick and dieing but the truth is no legitimate  medicine on earth is taken by way of a glass pipe shaped like a wizard.

As for weather it should be legal or not, frankly I don’t care. I don’t smoke the stuff and their’s good points on both sides of the argument. I’m simply angry at the folks who insult my intelligence by trying to convince me their weed habit is for the betterment of Mankind.

Period. End of Argument, Fineto, DONE

The Samurai Has Spoken

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